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What the hell, Niccolo Machiavelli? Really?
How does a game about killing people, the Old Testament, and the Borgias completely bore an Italian Jew?
Untitled Songbook #1 (1970s)
Section One – Songs.
The Good Ship Venus <. .. .
The Girl on Boni Beach.
iJti OD119 O . . O . O 9 .
My Blue Bedroom „ . „ .
The Alphabet Song . . . .
» Abdul A Bull Bull Emir.
‘ Little Angleine . o.
Why Should we be Poor?
The Monk of Priory.
The Harlot of Jerusalem.
‘ !Ain! t Gonna Grieve My Lord , . .,
‘Shares in the very best companies.
On the_____ Lay of Christmas.
The Army Latrine .
Toll Us Anotherie . . . .
Foggy Foggy Dew .
Men of Sweat and Steel.
Your Spooning Days . „ 0 .
Pete the Piddling Pup.
. THE GOOD SS#: "VENUS.
Twas on the good ship Venus.
My God you should have seen us.
The figure lead was a moll in bed.
And the mast an elephants- .penis.
CHORUSs (after each verse)
Friggin in the riggin.
Friggin in the riggin r :- .
Cause there’s nothing else, to do,
The Captains name was Ugger .. ■
The dirty filthy bugger,
He wasn’t fit to shovel shit.
Upon a government lugger,
The first mate’s. namq was A.r^Ly. ..
A bastard bold and rbahdy,
They filled his bum with, boiling rum,
For pissing in the "’brandy,
The bosun. s name was .Hopper. -.-""^
He really had "a whopper,. :>";(his.; neck^
Twice arourd the deck, thrice’ round.;^’
And up his arse for a ‘stopper,
The cook’s name was O’Mailey,-.
He didn’t dilley dalley,
He shot his bolt with such a .-jolt.
It white-washed’half the galley,
The cabin-boys name ..was Skipper, .
A lively little nipper,
We filled his arse with broken glass.,
Aid circumcised the Skipper,
The captain1 s wife was Mable.
Whenever she was able,
She gave the crew their daily screw.
Upon the galley table,
The Captain’s- lovely daughter.
Was s/imming in the .water,
When eeststic squeals revealed thateels.
Had found her sejeual quarter,
Twas- of the Chinese, nation.
We caused a great sensation’
We sunk a junk with a flood of spunk.
From mutual masterbation,
The engineer was McTavish.
The.women he did ravish.
His missing tool’s at, Istanbul.
He was a trifle lavish,. –
The second mate’s name was Lester.
A virgin hymen tester.
Thro! thick, hymens, he. shoved his prick.
And left it there to fester,
The. ships dog’s name was Hover.
The. whole, crew did him over.
They ground and ground, that faithful.
From Singapore to Dover. . (hound,
A homo, was the ..purser . :.
He couldn’t have been-worser.
With all the- crew he. had a screw.
Until’ they yelled u0h..no Sir, n.
.The ..cook whose name was..Freeman.
.A.:dirty bloody demon .
,He .fed. the crew on menstrual stew.
And foreskins fried in semen,
.^The third mate’s name-.was Morgan,
A. homosexual gorgon.
Threes time a,day he’d si:t and play.
‘With his reproductive organ,
THE , GIHL . ON BQNEE ‘BEACH "
(Tune. Show Me The Way to go Home .„. ).
Show me the way to go ..home, said, the girl on Bpndi Beach,. .
I had a swimsuit about an hour ago. but its floated, but of reach,
And all I have on now, is seaweed,’, sand and f oaffi-t ;.
So give me a page from the Sunday Sun, and show me’the way to., go home,
Oh’ the Bishop ‘is"a bugger in Mobile ‘ ., . ;,:
.- ‘ -C’-. Oh the Bisho’p:’is; a; ‘bugger in Mobile.
And his brother.is another.
/And^-they whop it up each,’,other in Mobile.
.; . ”;;.’Chortii3:–: Siigihg ‘IT will’ if’; you will so will I..-. . .
<.■-‘." ^Singing X;will if you will so will I.
Singing I will if .you will.
.^ ‘"’Singing; I will if’;.you will so. will I.
Oh’the-girls they wear tin pants in Mobile, etc.
But they take them off to dance .__. . -.; -.’■. i-
" There’s’a shortage of’ good whores in Mobile, etc,
. . But there’s keyholes, in the doors.
‘. ‘Md”there’1 s knot hole’s in thq floo.rs"’ in"’. Mo bile. ■
!’ . — ./ There’s a prostitute" called Dinah in Mobile, etc,
And you’11 find that when-you grind her.
That she. s: got the best vagina in Mobile, . / ► . ■, ;. ;". ,r ‘ .
:’ < !’0h the parson is perverted in Mobile, etc,
And his morals are inverted,
– But there’s thousands he’s converted’in Mobile, ■/..-;
. ‘There’s no paper in the bogs in Mobile, etc,
So they wait until it . clogs.
‘:’r . "."’. Then they saw’it off in logs in Mobile,
. Oh’the eagles they fly high in Mobile, etc,
And they shit right in your eye.
It’s a pity cows dorft fly in Mobile.
Frenchies are in .short supply’" in Mobile, etc, ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘:
And that’s the reason, why.
You’ll see them hanging out- to dry in-Mobile . . . ;.■
There’s a poofter boy named Hunt in Mobile, etc,
And he thinks he’s got a cunt.
But he’s only back to front in Mobile,
There’s a man named Colonel;.Brown in Mobile, . etc. -.
You can tell him by the wreath.
Oh, ‘.the virgins .they are . rare -%n Mobile. -.-etc; ■■.
When they get their pubic hair.
TheyTre deflowered by the Mayor in Mobile,
ThereTs a lad named Dirty Danny in Mo.bi’le,: etc..’.
,.nd he likes .his bit of fanny .

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